


a fic in which i make donald trump look like a bitch

by overcastjpg



Category: US Presidential Election 2020
Genre: #biden2020, I wrote this in 30 minutes, I'm Sorry, M/M, This is the most cursed thing I've ever written, but fr i hate myself for writing this, i guess there's implied sexual content too so yeah, not beta read bc i don't wanna put razz through this anguish, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overcastjpg/pseuds/overcastjpg
Summary: Donald can lie to Melania, but he can’t lie to Joe. He made a promise long ago, and he plans to see it through.It’sJoe,after all. His one true weakness. Him and that wrinkly smile of his really sends Donald’s head spiraling elsewhere, throwing him into an oblivion of confusion and confliction and warmth all at the same time.He just can’t resist Sleepy Joe.
Relationships: Donald Trump/Mental Anguish, Joe Biden/Donald Trump
Comments: 24
Kudos: 27





	a fic in which i make donald trump look like a bitch

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know why i wrote this.

**Washington, D.C**

**10:36 AM**

Donald Trump leans back in his oval office chair and pulls his iPhone 12 out of his pocket. He’s had a long morning of sitting on his ass and doing absolutely nothing, so a quick wind-down session is necessary. The first thing he does is open his Twitter app, immediately reaching for the “tweet” button. His stubby, orange fingers fly across the luminescent screen, typing out:

_“I WON THIS ELECTION, BY A LOT!”_

Because in his mind, he did. There’s no way Sleepy Joe could possibly win, not with all the illegal ballots and voter fraud going around in his country. Those lazy Democrats are out to get him, point blank period, and he’ll be _damned_ if he lets them win. It’s his job to lead the country and Make America Great Again. If Sleepy Joe thinks he stands a chance against him, boy, he’s got another thing coming. 

Donald presses the “send tweet” button and pockets his phone, allowing a smug grin to stretch across his face. 

He has this election in the bag and he’ll make sure that he (and his lawyers) see it through.

* * *

**Washington D.C.**

**11:40PM**

Reporters crowd around Donald’s podium, calling out _“President Trump,”_ this, and _“President Trump”_ that. Donald just gives them bullshit answers before stepping off his podium and allowing his security guards to escort him back into the White House. He descends into the building, pulling out his phone. There’s a notification bannering across his screen, and Donald swears he feels his heart drop when he reads:

_“BREAKING: JOE BIDEN WINS. Joe Biden will be the 46th president of the United States, CNN projects, after a victory in Pennsylvania puts the Scranton-born Democrat over 270.”_

Donald’s fists clench into balls and his stomach sinks. Red hot anger rises in his chest. There’s a light ringing in his ears and his cheeks suddenly feel hot. No way. That _can’t_ be. _No. No no no!_

His chest rises and falls, his breath hitches and he suddenly feels the urge to throw something. This isn’t _fair!_ Sleepy Joe _cheated!_ There is absolutely no way that lazy Democrat won this election by a landslide. 

Donald grunts and opens his contact list, clicking on Sleepy Joe’s number. He clicks the “Send Message” button. 

**You, Sleepy Joe**

**[FROM: You]**

I WON THIS ELECTION, SLEEPY JOE

I WILL CONTACT MY LAWYERS ABOUT THIS

YOU ARE A FRAUD 

**[FROM: Sleepy Joe]**

I am not a fraud. The people have spoken.

I won.

You know what that means ;)

Get ready for me babe ;)

Donald grits his teeth and swears under his breath. Shit. He knows that he isn’t a man of action or a man that stays true to his word, but there’s just _something_ about Joe that makes him feel… different. Honest. 

Donald can lie to Melania, but he can’t lie to Joe. He made a promise long ago, and he plans to see it through.

It’s _Joe,_ after all. His one true weakness. Him and that wrinkly smile of his really sends Donald’s head spiraling elsewhere, throwing him into an oblivion of confusion and confliction and warmth all at the same time. 

He just can’t resist Sleepy Joe.

So he replies.

**[FROM: You]**

FINE

MEET ME AT OUR USUAL SPOT IN ONE HOUR…

**[FROM: Sleepy Joe]**

You betcha ;)

* * *

**Washington, D.C.**

**4:53 PM**

Donald Trump limps out of his hotel room, rubbing his ass. He thinks back to all the decisions he’s made that led up to this agreement between him and Joe, and while he regrets absolutely nothing, the bratty bottom that dwells deep in his Soul can’t help but reach for his brand new iPhone once more, clicking on his twitter app to tweet:

_“THE OBSERVERS WERE NOT ALLOWED INTO THE COUNTING ROOMS. I WON THE ELECTION, GOT 71,000,000 LEGAL VOTES. BAD THINGS HAPPENED WHICH OUR OBSERVERS WERE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE. NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. MILLIONS OF MAIL-IN BALLOTS WERE SENT TO PEOPLE WHO NEVER ASKED FOR THEM!”_

Donald smirks, watching his likes and retweets rise as he makes his way back to his limo. He gives his chauffeur some directions while trying to drown out the sound of Joe’s staggered breath in his ears and the wrath of his palms against his ass as he continues scrolling through the app. 

He had a good lay, but his compulsory behavior leads him to tweet again:

_“71,000,000 Legal Votes. The most EVER for a sitting President!”_

Donald hits the “send tweet” button for the millionth time today. It’s all for show, but he really couldn’t care less. His pride is at an all-time low, but he still can’t help himself from reeling back to Sleepy Joe’s sexy, wrinkly body and his twangy and stuttered sweet nothings whispered on his skin. 

Boy, it was good. Better than anything he’s ever felt in his life.

He makes a mental note to call him back in the future. Sleepy Joe might not be so sleepy, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it this far, i'm sorry.  
> anyways, happy 2020. we got that orange bitch out of office. who wants to take a shot with me?  
> now back to our regularly scheduled programming: angst and porn about anime characters.


End file.
